adventures in eating...

a picture is worth a thousand words right?

Elder Burnell's ode to Kaya and McKenna

My little brother sent me this poem; he is on his mission in California. I am totally impressed I didn't know he wrote poems but I thought this was cute.

Two beautiful girls were born today
For which, I shouted "hooray!"
We are so glad to have you here
There is no need to fear
Though the times will get hard
You always have the right card
God and Jesus are on our side
We have no reason to hide
So hold tight to the Iron Rod
Which is the word of God
To know his truth we kneel to pray
And with our answer stay
Close to the prophet and we will stand
As God's servants and make one strong band
Part of the chosen generation you are
Brightly beaming like a shining star
Your good deeds and acts will show
Because you are living what you know
Make us proud and stand for truth
And God will bless you in your youth
Don't forget to share this truth with His children
Because God's kingdom we always need to be buildin'
Remember families are what bring such joy
So find yourself a worthy boy
The temple will be your goal
So live worthy to pay our tole
On this earth we may separate
But in heaven we will be in a perfect state
Patiently we will all wait
Till the whole family is at the gate
So don't for get we always love you
And will be watchin' all you do

ONE MONTH STATS

This is our sweet little Kaya she weighs 5 lbs and 5 oz and is 17 inches long.

This is McKenna at one month she weighs 5 lbs and 11oz, and is 17 inches long too. The only thing they are still struggling with is eating on their own. We still don't have a definite date that we can bring them home but we are praying its soon!

D-Day!!!

I have wanted to write our delivery story down somewhere so we wouldn't forget all the little details. I figured this was a good place because I can't misplace it here...

The week before delivery was a really tough one for me. I was in a lot of pain and could barely sleep. Every night I was taking Tylenol and using a rice pack to even atempt sleep but usually I ended up on the couch so I wouldn't wake Gus with all my tossing and turning. Like I said it was rough, especially Sunday night. Sunday night I was in so much pain that early Monday morning before heading into work I stopped by my chiropractor's office and begged them to help me. They did but I had begun to realize that I might be having back labor. I had been having contractions before this. I knew I was effaced 80%. I figured I would see if my pain got better after getting my back adjusted and than call my doctor. I went into work for an hour and then finally called my doctor. They said it wasn't normal to be in that much pain and scheduled me for an NST later that morning but then called me back and told me that they had decided I should go to Labor and Delivery. I called Gus crying and told him how much pain I was in and that they wanted me to go to Labor and Delivery. I really didn't want to because I was afraid that they would simply send me home and we would have a needless hospital bill. As we discussed our options we realized we had no other choices really. I didn't believe I was really in labor until I began walking from Dr Mueller's to Labor and Delivery and felt about four contractions on my way. Thats when it hit me that this might be real; I started to freak out. I was in so much pain I couldn't feel my contractions starting or stopping and so I hadn't been able to time them unless I put a hand on my stomach and felt for the tightness. After being hooked up on the monitors we realized I was in labor and my contractions were only about 3 minutes apart. I delpt asking the nurse if I was really in labor I couldn't feel anything outside constant pain. They called my doctor, hooked up an IV and gave me some narcotics for the pain. I kept texting Gus to keep him updated, and luckily told him to grab the hospital bag I had packed the day before, on his way to work. My contractions began to slow down after they administered whatever drug stops contractions; I was dilated to a 1 and 1/2. My contractions did stop but I was in so much pain still that the nurse decided to keep me a little bit longer to monitor me. I had thrown up the first narcotic and so they gave me Vicoden. It wasn't long before Gus came to support me and because he couldn't focus at work. We were monitored till about 6 pm that night when Dr Leavitt came to check up on me. Dr Leavitt and the nurse asked if I could go home and I told them if they gave me narcotics than I guess; not knowing another answer to that question. Gus and I began to get ready to leave when Dr Leavitt came back in and said that my blood pressures had been at least 160/110 all day and that he was going to discuss my case with Dr Belfort, one of the Maternal Fetal Medicine doctors from SLC, UT. He quickly came back in and told me that my blood pressures indicated preeclampsia; they would be keeping me over night to run some labs, and they grabbed me dinner. It was about 7 pm now and we called our family to let them know we were at the hospital. Both families said that they would be there sometime soon. Shortly after they drew my blood a couple of nurses came back in and started asking me questions like how much I ate; they also told me that Dr Leavitt was on his way back to the hospital and not to worry if an anesthesiologist came in to talk to me. I tried to get them to tell me my blood results but all they would say is that my nurse would be in. I knew it wasn't good; my parents had just gotten to the hospital and I was scared. My nurse told me my bood work showed that my RBCs were about a 1/3 of the normal amount and my liver and kidney enzymes were very elivated. When I asked what that meant she told me Dr Leavitt would be there in a moment to talk to me. Than the anesthiologist came in and started discussing a cesearn section with me noting that I could not have a spinal block or epidural because of my RBC count. Shortly Dr Leavitt came back and told me that my lab results showed that I had a syndrome called HELLPS. They would be doing surgery and all I can remember thinking was "whats today?" and "am I having them today?". I also knew it was bad because they were doing surgery after I had just eaten so they would put two fingers on my trachea and other measures to keep me from vomitting. They weren't even going to wait for another couple of hours; Bevan was working the ER and he had come but he wouldn't leave my side. Dr Leavitt came back at about 8 pm and I had the girls at 8:41 and 8:42 thats how rushed it was. I remember going into the surgical room by myself and thinking how big and bare the room was. I had everyone swarming around me and telling me what they were going to do. I was afraid because when the anesthiologist told me to count to five I was at 4 and not alseep and I remember thinking "oh no this isn't going to work" than I could feel myself falling. The next thing I remember is trying to wake up and being in so much pain I could barely breathe. I remember someone telling me to 'breathe through the pain' and 'go ahead and hit the button' for my morphine pump. When you have emergency c-section under general you don't have any pain meds in your system until you wake up and hit the morphine pump button. I was in so much pain but Bevan and my mom were at my side calming me down. I asked where Gus was and Bevan told me he was out running 'victory laps'. I guess he came in before my mom and Bevan but I don't remember. Gus had to sit outside the NICU for 45 minutes before he got to see the girls because they both required resusitation. When the door opened for another family to enter the NICU he heard someone shout 'not now we have twins...' and than the door closed. I can't imagine how scared he was. They wheeled me into see the girls before they took me to my room and I was trying to grasp the concept that they were my girls and this was my big delivery moment suppose to be full of love but all I couldn't even stay awake. Later that week I got 3 IV's and 2 units of blood transfused. I think they drew my blood about every 12 hours and checked my relflexes every 4 hours I was at really high risk for seizures.

This is my disease:

HELLP syndrome is a life-threatening obstetric complication usually considered to be a variant of pre-eclampsia. Both conditions occur during the later stages of pregnancy, or sometimes after childbirth.

HELLP is an abbreviation of the main findings:^[1]

• Hemolytic anemia
• Elevated Liver enzymes and
• Low Platelet count

HELLP syndrome occurs in approximately 0.2 to 0.6 percent of all pregnancies.³ In comparison, preeclampsia occurs in 5 to 7 percent of pregnancies.³ Superimposed HELLP syndrome develops in 4 to 12 percent of women with preeclampsia or eclampsia.³ When preeclampsia is not present, diagnosis of the syndrome is often delayed.⁴

McKenna loves her daddy!

This is our sweet little McKenna, the other day Gus was changing her diaper and right after he removed the diaper from under her bum she started pooping! Luckily he had another diaper under her and so he went to finish her diaper change and after he removed the third soiled diaper she peed all over. He had to change her diaper three or four times in a row because she kept soiling the clean ones right after he placed them under her bum; it was hilarious.
The next morning he was changing her diaper again; only this time he didn't put a fresh diaper under the soiled one and as soon as he started wiping her little bum she started pooping! He didn't have the diaper there to catch it and so he had to catch it in his hand with the wipe! I haven't laughed that hard for a long time. It hard to believe something so small and cute could create so much poo but I am grateful she is already keeping dad on his toes! hehe

A Few of my Favorite Things

This is a list of just a few things I hope I always remember about the past two weeks-
1. Both the girls LOVE to grab things they have become very accomplished at pulling out tubes but McKenna loves to hold on to my finger. It is the sweetest thing she will flail her arms like she is falling until you give her your finger and then she will grab on and totally relax. I love to feel her sweet little hand wrapped around my finger. It is my small piece of heaven.
2. How small they are. I know I will never remember just how small they are but I wish I could. They are about 4 pounds now and have no fat on them. It is so cute to see their wrinkly, skinny little knees and they don't even have butt cheeks!
3. I love it when they are awake; I can sit there and talk to them and they will just stare up at me. It is moments like this that everything starts to sink in and I realize just how much I love them.
4. Gus wants to always remember how much he loved them from the moment he saw them. He said that his heart was pounding in his chest when he saw them for the first time and never wants to forget that feeling of pure love. When he was finally able to go in and see them my family said he was doing 'victory laps' in between me in the recovery room and the girls in the NICU.
5. How sweet Gus has been this whole time. I called him that fatefull monday morning in tears because of the pain but I didn't want to go to L&D because I didn't want them to just send me home. Thats when we realized it might be back labor and I should probably go to the hospital but he was so sweet and supportive. Then I told him to stay at work and I would keep him updated but he came to the hospital and sat with me all day while they tried to stop my contractions. It was pretty boring but I really apprecaited the company; I was scared. He also cleaned the house while I was at the hospital so I didn't have to come home to a dirty house and he always drives me up to the front of the hospital and than goes and parks the car so I don't have to walk.
6. The smell of the girls. I don't know how to describe it but after we come home from the hospital we can still smell them on our skin and we love it.
Not favorite things I want to remember-
1.Due to my condition they couldn't give me a epidural or spinal block because my red blood cell count was 1/3 of the normal range. I had an emergency c-section under general anesthia which means when I woke up I had no pain medication running through my system. They hooked up the morphine pump but I had to wait for the morphine to kick in. Of the few moments I remember waking up and my mom telling me to breath through the pain. That is the worst pain I have ever felt I think that is my 10 on the pain scale.
2. I went into L&D because I was in so much pain due to back labor and my liver was swollen from the HELLPS. I couldn't time my contractions when I realized it was back labor and by the time I got to L&D I think my contractions were about 3 minutes apart! I want to remember what little of labor I felt. P.S. they did stop my contractions but I was still in so much pain from my liver that is how they found the HELLPS.
3. Leaving our babies in the NICU when we came home was the HARDEST thing we have ever had to do. When you dream of having babies you always take for granted that you will get to take them home with you and we wanted that story book ending too. Anyway when it gets rough in the next few years I know I want to remember how hard I cried and how sad I was to leave them. I know there will be times when I want to take them back to the nursery but I want to remember how hard this month is not having them home with us.

Sugar and Spice

This is our little Kaya, isn't she beautiful? I think I have the cutest babies ever! Kaya is doing very well and will hopefully be off her IV within the next day or so. They are so sweet and I live for the few hours I get to hold them. Kaya is kinda spunky and loves to pull on all the tubes even if they are her sisters; McKenna is alittle bit more eventempered (like her dad). She also loves to grab tubes but usually just holds on to them.

This is our little McKenna, she is such a sweetheart. Both the girls are doing really well, McKenna scared us but it turned out that all she has is an anal fissure. It doesn't seem to bother her and so now we are just working on getting her feeds up so she can go off her IV. We have learned that little McKenna the hardest stick in all of the NICU and her veins tend to blow or infultrate after only a day or so. Poor thing she usually needs a new IV everyother day and I have stood next to her for 2 hours while the try poke needles EVERYWHERE. She is very good and only fusses alittle bit. We are honestly so grateful that these are our only problems, they seem to be doing very good. P.S. they are identical! I am so excited

More pictures!!!

This is me holding both my girls at the same time! They limit holding time for even us at the moment due to gestational age but when we get to it makes everything worth it.

They are under the billirubin lights and so they have to wear 'sunglasses' to protect their eyes. It is so cute. Look how little her hand is wrapped around my fingers.

I was so swollen part of it was from the magnesium they had to put me on, part from just pregnancy and part was from H.E.L.P.S syndrome which is what they finally diagnosed me with.

Introducing to the world

Kaya Starlin Clark and McKenna Kathryn Clark!!!
They were born Monday 3/23/09 at 8:41 and 8:42 pm, weighing 3.9 lbs and 3.15 lbs respectively. They are doing really well, especially for being born at 33 weeks. They will need to stay in the nicu for a while, but are getting stronger.

update on the girls

These are the latest pictures of baby 'A'. This one is sideways so it might be hard to see at first but it is a complete face shot; she is smiling very big. This is her profile; it is so weird to see them because it makes it seem so much more real.
We couldn't get a good one of baby 'B' because she is facing my insides. They are both doing well and we are busy getting ready for them. We have finished with birthing classes and I had two GREAT baby showers. My mother-in-law and my mom both threw me wonderful showers and we are so grateful for all the love, support and gifts. Thank you everyone; we really feel that the lord is watching over us and using all of you to bless us. I can't tell you all thank you enough times.

Nursery!!!

These are pictures of our cribs! The nursery has a jungle theme and then we are trimming everything in pink or purple. I sewed the quilts; you will notice there is a pink one and a purple. They are that soft minki fabric and I am really happy with how they turned out. Everyone helped us get our cribs and we are so grateful for all the help; these girls are already spoiled-Which means we are too!

Update on the girls

THE GIRLS
the other night when I was trying to get to sleep the babies were moving A LOT and so I was laying on my side and they kicked really good. You could feel the whole bed move anyways to me this was just another big painful kick but Gus apparently wasn't all the way asleep; it woke him up the rest of the way and he was pretty shocked they had that much strength. It was pretty funny. So I figured I would post the stats and some pics we took the other day. The babies are about the size of a liter of soda and weigh 2 lbs each! They are developing surfactant this week which is the fatty substance that lines the air sacs in their lungs so pretty much this week is a huge step in their development.

Today I had another first in the pregnancy. As you can tell I am getting pretty big but today was the first time I actually had a patient look at me and say 'you look like you are about to pop!' I tried to keep a straight face as I thanked him!



Gus did an amazing job taking these pics I really wanted some of my maternity belly and so he offered to try I think he did an amazing job, but I still don't have any with him and me :(
I really am impressed with these pictures that he took though-he did AMAZING

Tummy Shots

Bye Bye to my toes I really can't see them anymore and the babies are huge! They are the size of a 1 lb coffee bag and weigh 1 lb each! I can really feel the stretch and pressure but it is amazing to feel them always moving.

messin around

The kiss goes to Gus he has been so wonderful this whole pregnancy; I can't believe how lucky I am! Thank you for everything you do to take care of us.
I have a feeling these girls are going to idol their father and I can't wait to see how excited they get to see 'daddy'!












I told you I was getting larger...